I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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