I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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