she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
