k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Quick, to the slutcave!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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