DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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