My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
