Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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