he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need a beard to bite.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
