He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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