NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
