By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
