we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
