I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The uberlube is also flammable
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
