Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
