wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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