On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just wanna soil my oats bro
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
