he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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