you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
