Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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