BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize