Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
