Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
