One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
