Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize