It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
