dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
