You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
