Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
