OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
