As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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