Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
