You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize