the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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