He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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