I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
