you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
