went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
