I'm gonna have a badass scar
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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