She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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