i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
