I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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