my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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