when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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