Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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