I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
