I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
