She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
