Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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