your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
