WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
