Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
