When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
