That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
