i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
