I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
