; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
