Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
