oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
