Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
