He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
These tits shall not be calmed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I have post one night stand depression
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